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#22445 - 04/30/01 07:30 PM Musical Jokes
Carole Offline
Star Member

Registered: 06/08/00
Posts: 2229
Loc: southern California
Ok, I have decided that we (the students and I) will tell some musical jokes at our recital this Sat. Just something different and to relieve a little stress. I have found a few in the Piano Explorer magazines but thought you all might have some good ones. Cleans ones please!!!! \:D

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#22446 - 04/30/01 07:50 PM Re: Musical Jokes
kathy Offline
Resident Member

Registered: 07/21/00
Posts: 199
A Hollywood producer wanted to make a film about some of the great composers. He asked Tom Cruise which composer he'd like to portray. Tom said, "I'll be Mozart." The producer asked Harrison Ford, who said "I'll be Beethoven." The producer contacted Arnold Schwarzenegger, who said, "I'll be Bach." heeheeheehee

Here's another one (slightly crude).
Q: Why isn't Mozart composing songs any more?
A: He's decomposing.

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#22447 - 04/30/01 10:22 PM Re: Musical Jokes
sdps Offline
Resident Member

Registered: 01/03/01
Posts: 316
Loc: Whitehouse, Texas USA
Q: Why did Beethoven hate chickens?

A: They always say, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

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#22448 - 04/30/01 10:24 PM Re: Musical Jokes
sdps Offline
Resident Member

Registered: 01/03/01
Posts: 316
Loc: Whitehouse, Texas USA
Did someone say crude?

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A: Ab min (A flat minor)

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#22449 - 04/30/01 10:25 PM Re: Musical Jokes
sdps Offline
Resident Member

Registered: 01/03/01
Posts: 316
Loc: Whitehouse, Texas USA
Not a joke but kinda cute...


Never B b
Sometimes B #
Always B natural!

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#22450 - 05/01/01 08:55 AM Re: Musical Jokes
Jalapeņo Offline
Star Member

Registered: 11/04/00
Posts: 5712
Here are some jokes from the Piano Explorer magazine:

What's black and white and black and white and black and white?
A piano falling down stairs.

Should you write music on an empty stomach or a full stomach?
Neither; you should write it on paper.

Why did the conductor tell Rachmaninoff to slow down when he played?
He was Russian. (rushing)

Which composer do you take shopping?
Liszt (list)

What raised the musician's car insurance?
Accidentals

What's black and white and red all over?
a sun-burned piano.

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#22451 - 05/01/01 09:19 AM Re: Musical Jokes
Lisa Kalmar Offline
Star Member

Registered: 04/10/00
Posts: 4277
Loc: KC
\:D

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#22452 - 05/01/01 09:57 AM Re: Musical Jokes
allegra Offline
Resident Member

Registered: 09/13/00
Posts: 326
Which composers do you need before you go shopping? A Chopin Liszt

I like the joke about the car insurance.

\:D \:D
_________________________
Allegra www.gwwms.com/piano2/homepage.htm

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#22453 - 05/01/01 10:13 AM Re: Musical Jokes
Jalapeņo Offline
Star Member

Registered: 11/04/00
Posts: 5712
What do you call a piano teacher who can't resist buying New Releases, CDs, reference books, & teaching aids/games but is having trouble recruiting more students?

BAROQUE

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#22454 - 05/01/01 11:42 AM Re: Musical Jokes
AdrienneM Offline
Resident Member

Registered: 04/28/01
Posts: 317
Loc: Kentucky, USA
A man went to the local piano dealer to buy a piano. He looked at several name-brand models, and the prices were far too high for the man's budget. Then he found one that was priced to steal! Curious, he played a few short pieces. Not only was it priced right, but it sounded GREAT.

The man asked, "Is this REALLY the price for this fabulous piano??"

The salesman replied, "Yep. All sales final, no returns."

"What is the name of the manufacturer?"

The salesman replied, "It's an Opper-Knockity."

The man had never heard of this brand, but amazed at his good fortune, he wrote a check on the spot and had the piano delivered to his house.

Several months passed.

The piano was sounding rather bad and the man decided to call the dealership to see about having the piano tuned.

After looking up the customer file, the salesman replied, "I'm sorry sir, but we won't be able to send anyone. You see, Opper-Knockity only tunes once."

[My Dad told me this one years ago, probably better than I have here. My apologies for the groaner!] :rolleyes:
_________________________
Private Piano Instructor in Lexington, Kentucky
http://perpetualpiano.blogspot.com
http://www.pianolex.com

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