Misc. Quotes (Any Topic)

Posted by: Jalapeño

Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 12:22 PM

From this month's issue of Reader's Digest:

The first step to getting the things you want ouf of life it this: Decide what you want. (Ben Stein)

When you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness. (Nicole Kidman in The Scotsman)

People call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have. Anne Tyler, Celestial Navigation (Knopf)

Humor is a rubber sword--it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
(Mary Hirsch)

When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less. (Paul Brown)

The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself. (Rita Mae Brown, Venus Envy (Bantam)

Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
(Henry Winkler)

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger. (Arnold Palmer)

I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it's not a waste of time. (Martha Stewart in McCall's)

It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. (Roberto Benigni in Newsweek)

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. (Robin Williams)

Happiness? That's nothing more than health & a poor memory. (Albert Schweitzer)
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 12:46 PM

"People who live in trailor parks should NOT throw 40-ouncers." ~ Aisha Taylor from "The 5th Wheel".

"They say that heaven is like TV; a perfect little world, that doesn't really need you." ~ Laurie Anderson (from Strange Angels)
Posted by: Eric

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 02:41 PM

“I love pianos, too, but not as much as I love Jesus.” –Jalapeno

“Celibacy can help, but not a requirement.” -John
Posted by: Lisa Kalmar

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 04:02 PM

gurgle....

Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 05:00 PM

Interesting fixation, Eric! :p
But WHY do these 2 quotes interest you so?
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 08:33 PM

Suzanne Guy's current quote of the week:
  • Beethoven’s birthday is December 16. Carl Czerny described Beethoven (by then totally deaf) as he conducted a rehearsal. “Often when he reached a forte he gave a violent downbeat even if the note were the unaccented one. He was in the habit of marking a diminuendo by crouching down lower and lower, and at a pianissimo he almost crept under the stand. With a crescendo he, too, grew, rising as if out of a stage trap, and with the entrance of a fortissimo he stood on his toes and seemed to take on gigantic proportions, while he waved his arms about as if trying to soar upwards to the clouds.”
[/*]
Posted by: MeLisa

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/19/01 10:11 PM

[ 08-02-2002: Message edited by: MeLisa ]
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/20/01 11:17 AM

These quotes/comments are from an eBay seller in an eBay High Bidder Notification which began with "Howdy from Texas!" Some are very amusing. \:\)

 Quote:
A Few Pointers About Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep."

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.

Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.

Racoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

Texas has 5 seasons:
Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15

The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops totally.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat Okra.

Texans really don't have an accent.

When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.

Fixinto is one word.

A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.

Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

And the most important thing......There's no place I'd rather be than
Texas!


I thought about omitting the last line since it isn't amusing but it is needed to provide balance. \:D
Posted by: OKMusician

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/20/01 07:07 PM

Sounds a lot like Oklahoma and I agree with the last line (substitute OK for TX) \:\)
Posted by: sdps

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/20/01 11:55 PM

"Rhapsody, thanks for the laugh." ~sdps
Posted by: Eric

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/21/01 09:09 AM

"Homicides jumped 17.5 percent in Houston and 15 percent in San Antonio this year."
-The New York Times

(And I thought living near Ground Zero was scary! :eek \:\)
Posted by: Jason

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/21/01 10:12 AM

Wow...here in West Texas, people don't even seem to die of Old Age. They just keep going, and going, and going... \:\)
Posted by: PJ

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/21/01 04:00 PM

"I deeply believe that the world is a reflection of our consciousness, and at times things are acted out on the world stage in a very dramatic way so that we can all wake up and take the next step in our evolution."

-Shakti Gawain
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 12/21/01 04:15 PM

\:D \:\) \:D \:\)
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 09:26 AM

Originally posted by Rhapsody: Onced and Twiced are words.

My mother's relatives in IL use those words, too. \:o

BTW, Dr. Pepper is rapidly turning into a Texan, I think. He already uses the phrase, "Fixin' to..." quite a bit. In addition, he's getting quite good at telling tales. For example, on the way to FL, Dr. Pepper managed to convince Piano Kid that there really are some lines that divide one state from the next. He told her that they're white, & very wide & deep. When we were driving home yesterday & approached the small town of Post, he told the girls that Post, TX is where the first U.S. "Post" Office was built. :rolleyes: \:D

Quote from my mother: The only good armadillo is a dead armadillo. She said this when she had a problem with armadillos digging in her garden (in Gainesville).
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 09:29 AM

 Quote:
Originally posted by Eric:
“I love pianos, too, but not as much as I love Jesus.” –Jalapeno

“Celibacy can help, but not a requirement.” -John


 Quote:
Originally posted by John:
Interesting fixation, Eric! :p
But WHY do these 2 quotes interest you so?


Yeah, Eric! What's the deal here? ;\)

[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: Jalapeño ]
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 09:57 AM

Jalapeño, shall we try to analyze Eric and try to find the root of his interest in our ideas about Jesus and celibacy? Do we wanna go there? :p
Posted by: Jason

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 11:14 AM

Let's not and say we did.
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 01:37 PM

 Quote:
Originally posted by Jason:
Let's not and say we did.


Good advice, Jason. \:D
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 01:55 PM

Whew!!!!!!!! I can put my DSM - III away now!
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 02:14 PM

Where there's a will, there are relatives.

Anyone know where this quote came from?
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 03:32 PM

From lawyers, I suspect.
Posted by: Vivace'

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/04/02 04:38 PM

"The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason."
Benjamin Franklin


"The mind once enlightened cannot again become dark".
Thomas Paine

[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: Vivace ]
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/06/02 04:19 PM

Whoever said, "Money doesn't buy happiness" doesn't know where to shop! \:D
Posted by: Jason

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/06/02 10:07 PM

On being asked what he thought of electric pianos, Teddy Wilson (one of the greatest Jazz players ever) said:

"It's like a toy, a hollow caricature of a real piano. No tones or resonances. It's a phony, a pseudophony, which is about as phony as you can get."
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/07/02 06:06 AM

Message found in a Chinese fortune cookie:

"The wise learn more from fools than fools learn from the wise."
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/07/02 05:07 PM

PT.com members, get a load of thi.! I'm going to type it exactly as it appears in this month's issue of Clavier magazine:

Grumpy Reader

"I am again writing with my vehement objection to the cover of the September 2001 issue with Stanislav Ioudenitch and his teacher instead of with Olga Kern, co-winner of the 11th Van Cliburn International Piano Competition. There was never an apology nor any subsequent picture of the co-winners. This is the most audacious, reprehensible treatment of a co-winner, not what one would expect of the prestigious Clavier."

Marion Kirkpatrick
British Columbia, Canada

Editor's Note: As we pointed out in response to the first letter, the only photos of Olga Kern with Stanislav Ioudenitch were of poor quality and could only be run in the half-page size we used inside the September issue. Perhaps levitation, magic, or mysticism could conjure up new photos of a past event, but we still have not figured out how to do this. Our "audacious, reprehensible" behavior will persist until we do learn the trick of turning back the calendar.
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/07/02 06:22 PM

Cher lyric: "If I could turn back time."

\:D \:D \:D \:D \:D \:D
Posted by: Lisa Kalmar

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/07/02 06:53 PM

I just hate it when Marion's panties get all in a wad....

Lisa, guessing she's a fellow Enneagram One, God help her
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/07/02 09:15 PM

I read that in Clavier and was laughing out loud, reminded of similar exchanges on this and other boards! Has anyone been to this one? Speaking of other wad-fests.....
http://www.pianoforum.net/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi
Posted by: PJ

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/07/02 09:40 PM

I know of no other single thing so
conducive to misery
as this ~
uncultivated, untrained mind.

I know of no other single thing so
conducive to well-being
as this ~
cultivated and well-trained mind.


-The Buddha
Posted by: Lisa Kalmar

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/08/02 09:01 AM

~~All you have is all you need, as long as you have cheesecake.~~

Sarah Ban Breathnach


~~Clavier is prestigious?!? ~~

Lisa Kalmar
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/08/02 09:52 AM

(musta been piano teachers in previous life)

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Seneca


Our physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense.

Henry Miller
Posted by: PJ

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/08/02 10:05 AM

"Only the fool hopes to repeat an experience ~ the wise man knows that every experience is to be viewed as a blessing. Whatever we try to deny or reject is precisely what we have need of ~ it is our very need which often paralyzes us, prevents us from welcoming a (good or bad) experience."
-Henry Miller
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/09/02 06:27 AM

Students should understand that their piano lessons are a priority, not an after-thought.

Joanne Marie Barnaba, independent piano teacher who maintains a home studio in Clinton, NY
Posted by: Arlene at school

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/09/02 09:22 AM

"William Shakespeare? Is he married to Brittany Shakespeare?"

David Steffen, age 7, during a conversation about the identity of Romeo and Juliet \:D
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/09/02 09:40 AM

A warning that signals the end of Western civilization as we know it.....(Arlene's post above).
Posted by: Lisa Kalmar

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/09/02 11:08 AM

\:D \:D \:D \:D \:D \:D

Lisa, who adds David obviously hasn't hit pre-puberty yet \:D

 Quote:
Originally posted by Arlene at school:
"William Shakespeare? Is he married to Brittany Shakespeare?"

David Steffen, age 7, during a conversation about the identity of Romeo and Juliet \:D
Posted by: Lisa Kalmar

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/09/02 11:12 AM

"Wouldn't it just be easier if all the notes looked the same so you don't have to count out loud?"

Bailey, younger sister of one of Lisa's students who had strict instructions to count Up on the Housetop aloud over the holiday break ;\) \:D
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/09/02 11:21 AM

"Deck the halls with balls of Polly."

"I'm sorry, Mom. It was an ASKIDENT. I didn't mean to do it."

Little Pepper (who will turn 4 in February)

*****

"The music you play sure looks messy!"

A 10-year-old Canadian piano student that I taught when living in Costa Rica. She made that remark after looking at a few pages of Bach Inventions (the book was sitting open on the piano rack when she came for her piano lesson).

[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: Jalapeño ]
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/10/02 07:19 PM

Faith is the refusal to panic. (Martin Lloyd-Jones)

Pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes. (John Ruskin)
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/11/02 12:30 PM

Nothing is more attractive than a woman who's sure of herself. (Plus-size model Carre Otts) \:\)
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/11/02 09:28 PM

Don't get your panties in a wad. (Lisa Kalmar)

Don't get your undies in a bunch. (heard on one of the TV shows my kids were watching the other day)
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 01/12/02 08:34 AM

I'm definitely not a night person. Remind me, PT.com members, not to ever again post at night. That's the time of day when my brain barely functions & I end up posting things that make absolutely no sense! \:o ;\)

Jalapeño
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/07/02 02:15 PM

Quote seen on a plaque:

My greatest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/07/02 02:33 PM

What do you call a woman with both PMS and ESP?

A bitch who thinks she knows everything.
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/07/02 03:39 PM

 Quote:
Originally posted by Rhapsody:
What do you call a woman with both PMS and ESP?

A bitch who thinks she knows everything.


Now THAT'S scary!!!!
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/07/02 07:55 PM

It was John Field who aptly said of Chopin, "He was dying all his life."
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/22/02 06:41 AM

From Reader's Digest:

It seems that every time our piano tuner, John, comes to our house, he scolds me for waiting too long between tunings. I agree with him that it should be done every six months, but I don't really think about the piano until it sounds off-key.

Last time he came over, I was on the defensive.

"If you would send out a postcard reminder like the dentist," I declared, "I would make sure to call you for an appointment in a more timely fashion."

Without hesitating, he replied, "From now on, when the dentist sends you a postcard, call me."


\:D
Posted by: MeLisa

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/22/02 07:42 AM

" If everybody do their job, all jobs got done "

MeLisa

[ February 22, 2002: Message edited by: MeLisa ]
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/24/02 04:47 PM

"You might be a REDNECK if....You have a close relative named Cletus."

Oh, NO! \:o
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/26/02 07:53 PM

"We're all human, don't embarrass the rest of us."
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 02/28/02 12:24 PM

There is a memorable saying in Roman dialect that can be used for food or for friends--Parla come mangi--"speak as you eat" or, as we say in Texas, don't be so highfalutin, give it to me straight, just as straight as your fork goes to your mouth. And it is a universal truth that Italian food is about as direct and full of truth as food can get.

Source: Suzanne Dunaway, Texas native, co-owner (with her husband) of Buona Forchetta Handmade Breads www.buonaforchetta.com in Los Angeles, & author of No Need to Knead: Handmade Italian Breads in 90 Minutes.

[ February 28, 2002: Message edited by: Jalapeño ]
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 03/03/02 03:17 PM

So as not to ruin anyone's appetite over in the bread thread, I'm posting this quote over here:

Gold rush hopefuls, eventually nicknamed "sourdoughs," in the old West used to spit in their starters to give them a boost! I do not suggest this! (Suzanne Dunaway, No Need to Knead: Handmade Italian Breads in 90 Minutes)

Here's a funny one:

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. (George Bernard Shaw)

[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: Jalapeño ]
Posted by: dlinder

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 03/10/02 04:40 PM

Apparently a number of years ago, a statue of Houdini was stolen from his gravesite here in NY. On Friday, a newscaster was reporting on the arrest of the thief.
"The bust of the great musician Harry Houdini was recovered...."
Posted by: Shirley

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 03/10/02 06:02 PM

"There's a thin person inside screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate."
---Plaque in my kitchen
Posted by: dlinder

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 03/11/02 01:40 PM

\:D \:D \:D \:D \:D \:D
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 03/31/02 12:45 PM

"Never take anybody's advice." - George Bernard Shaw

There's something the technicians need to learn from the artists:
if it isn't aesthetically pleasing, it's probably wrong. - Unknown

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are
any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
- Howard Aiken

"Forget the Alamo" - final line of John Sayles' Lone Star

"Digital by day, analog by night." - Gail Dengel

"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its
animals are treated." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Wit is educated insolence." - Aristotle (284-322 B.C.)

"What am I on? I'm on my bike six hours a day. What are you on?"
- Lance Armstrong

"Science is an art, not a science."

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit
atrocities." - Voltaire

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will
annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

"I'm not wringing my hands, I'm drying my nails!" - Margaret Atwood

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the
computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles
per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."
Robert X. Cringely

"There arises from a bad and unapt formation of words
a wonderful obstruction to the mind." - Francis Bacon

The story goes that a [Russian?] mathematician, suspecting that
the government bakery was fraudulently baking undersized loaves,
began weighing his weekly bread ration. The result was a normal
distribution with a mean that was significantly lower than the
official quota, and so he challenged the bakery. Thereafter, the
mathematician received only loaves that were greater than or
equal to the quota. However, his new distribution of loaves
resembled the tail of a normal distribution which was still
centered below the quota, and he was able to use this as evidence
to challenge the bakery again.

"No matter how thin you slice it it's still baloney."
- Rube Goldberg

"Next year a new one will come out called `Internet Barbie,'
which is really a fat guy claiming to be a hot blonde." - Bill Maher

"Drawing on my fine command of language,
I said nothing." -- Robert Benchley

"Think galactically, act globally." - Bob Benjamin, astronomer

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson

Remember - The penalty for bigamy is two wives !!

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr, Nobel physicist, founder of quantum theory

"If you will just start with the idea that this is a hard world,
it will all be much simpler." -- Louis Brandeis

I like a Blackpool breakfast, me - 20 ciggies and a pot of tea.
Lilly Savage

MEN WHO
HAVE TO
TRAVEL LIGHT
FIND THE
35 CENT TUBE
JUST RIGHT
Burma-Shave

A woman can even become a Buddha, but for that she must
first come back as a man. - from Beyond Rangoon

"You can't go around building a better world for people. Only
people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's
just a cage." -- (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists
elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact
us!" - Calvin & Hobbes

"A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe"

"Just remember, in 10 years no one will care. In fact most
people probably don't care right now." -- Conrad E. Muller

"Praise the beautiful for their intelligence and the intelligent
for their beauty." -- Casanova

"Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign
your name you'd have to pay cash." - Rita Mae Brown

It's always darkest before you step on the cat.

"The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it"
- John Gilmore

"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
-- Cinderella's Prince, "Into the Woods"

"Computer experts vastly underestimate the time required to
beat the World Champion. Chess experts, on the other hand,
vastly overestimate the time involved" [Hans Berliner, 1988]

Whenever you see food beautifully arranged on a plate, you know
someone's fingers have been all over it. -- Julia Child

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood" - Cutter John, Bloom County

You're one in a million. Which means there are about a thousand
people just like you somewhere in China.

"Doing STRANGE THINGS in the name of ART, and STRANGER
THINGS in the name of CHOCOLATE." - Christina M. Callihan

"You aren't free because you CAN choose -
only if you DO choose."

He's a born-again Christian. The trouble is, he suffered brain
damage during rebirth. --Anonymous

"The church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints."

"Most people stumble over the truth, now and then, but they usually
manage to pick themselves up and go on, anyway." - Winston Churchill

The Mahatma Gandhi was once asked, "Mr Gandhi, what do
you think of Western Civilization?" He replied, "I think
that it would be an excellent idea."

"Dying's easy...comedy's hard." - Nell Gwyn

'Only Six computers will ever be sold in the commercial market'
Howard Aiken (The designer of the first IBM computer)

"When my species comes to rule this planet, your name will be
on the protected rolls." - Beldar Conehead

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will
not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius
will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will
not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and
determination alone are omnipotent. - Calvin Coolidge

"Love and a cough cannot be hid" Francis Bacon

"What this country needs is less people telling us what this
country needs"

"No sooner does man discover intelligence than he tries
to involve it in his own stupidity." - Jacques Cousteau

"AI has completely changed the cow."

Under the Southern Cross I stand,
A can of Fosters in my hand,
A native of my native Land,
Australia, you f###### beauty!
- The Australian Cricket Team Chant (or so I heard)

"The game of croquet, to which I have given such a large portion
of my life, fuses so many different elements: competition, a fine
eye, a sharp mind, a firm stroke, a large amount of patience,
ability to plan ahead and, by no means the least, a control of
one's temper." - Jack R. Osborn

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the
crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places
no one has ever been. -- Alan Ashley-Pitt

"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to
grow but phone calls taper off."

"As the most participatory form of mass speech yet developed,
the Internet deserves the highest protection from government
intrusion," - the three-judge panel that issued a preliminary
injuction blocking as unconstitutional the Communications
Decency Act.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable
from a rigged demo." - Thom DeCarlo

"Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which
could only have originated in California." --Edsger Dijkstra

"The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place
where they can do the least damage - MANAGEMENT" - The Dilbert Principle

"If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory."
- Benjamin Disraeli

Fred: "May I rescue you?"
Ginger: "No, thank you. I prefer being in distress."
- `Top Hat,' RKO 1935

"Paradigm shifting without a clutch" - Dogbert

"We humans are a curious sort...
Little girls like dolls and little boys like soldiers.
When we grow up, women like soldiers and men like dolls."
- Monee C. Kidd

"Have the gentleman to haul and draw with the mariner." - Francis Drake

"The man who never dreams, goes slowly mad." -Thomas Dolby

If DSS is a flop, you can always use that 19" dish as a bird
bath, discus, snow sled, chinese hat, hub cap, salad bowl....
Now thats Multimedia!

I bought this book called "Java Programming for Dummies" and
I am completely lost.

"Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace"
- Amelia Earhart

"The value of an idea lies in the using of it." - Thomas Edison

"What sculpture is to a block of marble,
education is to a human soul" - Joseph Addison

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful
servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has
forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein.

Make no friendship with an elephant keeper
unless you have room to entertain an elephant.

"I suppose some editors are failed writers, but so are
most writers." - T. S. Elliot

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and the Elvis
impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us
with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
-- Galileo Galilei

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
-- Paul Erdos

"The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new
landscapes but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure."
-Thomas A. Edison

"Being famous has its benefits, but fame isn't one of them."
- Larry Wall

"Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have
forgotten your aim." - George Santayana

"Reality is for people who can't handle fantasy."

"If you eat less and live longer, over time you'll
have eaten just as much." - Michael Feldman

"Stocks are now at what looks like a permanent high plateau" -- noted
economist Irving Fisher, 2 weeks before the 1929 stock market crash

"There's a fine line between fishing and
standing on the shore like an idiot." - Steven Wright

"Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent
and original in your work." - Gustave Flaubert

A fool and his money are...Hey! Where's my wallet?

"Football exemplifies the worst features of American life:
it's violence punctuated by committee meetings."--George Will

Chris
(Bride of Frank)

"I feel that true freedom lies within, where I shall never find it."
-- John S. Hall

"Free will is located in or near the anterior cingulate sulcus."
- Francis Crick

"A friend is someone who sees through you, and still
enjoys the view" - Wilma Askinas

"My friends, we are all interested in the future, for that is
where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives."

Sagredo (Galileo Galilei) "You present these recondite matters with
too much evidence and ease; this great facility makes them less
appreciated than they would be had they been presented in a more
abstruse manner." Two New Sciences

"If you look around the table and you don't know who
the sucker is, its you."

You can't win.
You can't break even.
You can't even quit the game.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they
attack you. And then you win." - Gandhi

"And to this day it still thrills me to know that if I can get
the program right it will always work perfectly, every time,
just the way I told it to." - Bill Gates

"I was an atheist, until I found out I was God."

"Blood is a special kind of juice" - Goethe

In 1912 an American enthusiast made golfing history, when
she took 166 strokes over a 130-yard hole.
During the qualifying round of the Shawnee Invitational for
Ladies at Shawnewe-on-Delaware, Pennsylvania, she confidently
approached the sixteenth hole for which four strokes were
normally adequate. Her first shot, however, sent the ball into the
Binniekill River, an obstacle which many would regard as final.
When she saw that it floated she boarded a rowing boat, with
her husband at the oars and herself at the prow, wielding a golf
club. For one and a half miles her husband rowed and kept count
of the occasions upon which she had cause to swipe at it.
Eventually, she beached the thing and made her way back
through a forest. Fellow competitors had given up hope of ever
seeing her again, when they heard the cry of 'fore' and saw the
ball fly on the green from a totally unexpected direction. She
completed the hole in just under two hours.

"Government is not suggestion nor persuasion, it is force...and force
is violence. ...When you advocate any government action, you first
must believe that violence is the best answer to the question at hand."
-- Laws of the Jungle, by Allen Thornton

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly,
and I did. I said I didn't know." Mark Twain

"If I have made myself clear, you must have misunderstood me."
- Alan Greenspan
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/03/02 02:59 PM

2 quotes I've seen recently on the internet:

"Thou shalt never weigh more than thy refrigerator." ;\)

"Age doesn't matter unless you're a cheese." \:D
Posted by: Carole

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/18/02 05:50 PM

Politically correct statements for the 20th Century:
Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive".
Kids don't get grounded anymore. They just hit "social speedbumps."
You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
You are not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one is tall anymore, they're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy, you're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk alot. You are just "abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore, It's the "speedy transmission of near-factual information."
And for students:
The food in the cafeteria isn't awful, it's "digestively challenged."
No one fails a class anymore, he's "passing impaired."
These days a student isn't lazy, he's "energetially declined."
Your homework isn't missing, it's having an "out of notebook experience."
You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."
You don't have smelly socks, you have "odor retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class, you were participating in the "discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You are not going to the principal's office, you are going to a "mandatory field trip to the administration building." \:D
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/19/02 12:34 PM

You are not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

Hee-hee! \:D I just had a rebellious follicle cut today! I was going to wait 'til the end of April, but I couldn't do anything with my hair & just had to get something done. I ended up with a wonderful layered bob cut that has a side zig-zag part (yes zig-zag; no one can say I'm not keeping up with trends here) & sides that can be tucked behind my ears. It looks so flattering on me, & it's relatively low maintenance (which is important when you have fine hair like mine that won't hold a style unless it's loaded with products &/or permed). I'm going in again in 3 weeks to get a slight trim before the family wedding (May 18) & 2nd honeymoon cruise (May 23).

Here are 2 of my favorite lines:

This is not a threat; it's a promise.

Piano students who have problem parents are parentally challenged [from Eric Rockwell]
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/19/02 04:30 PM

 Quote:
Originally posted by Carole:
Politically correct statements for the 20th Century:
Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive".


I have one of those and it seems to restrict itself further every day. To call it a bedroom would be very wishful thinking. \:o (My sleeping bedroom I keep tidy and unrestrictive. \:\) )

 Quote:
Originally posted by Carole:
You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."
Y \:D


I used to ration it very sparingly during my 8 o'clock classes in college. What was bad was when I was sitting in a front seat and dozed off. . .
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/19/02 04:33 PM



I hit "Add Reply" too soon above. What I was going to add was that it was very fortuitous that I don't snore. \:D
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/20/02 10:36 AM

.....then why did Brahms order a 12-pack of "Breathe-rite" strips and a set of ear-plugs? \:D :p ;\)

(sorry, Rhaps......the devil made me do it)
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/20/02 11:27 AM

Little Pepper has mixed up the lyrics to "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," hee-hee. \:D Her version:

I looked over JOYLAND, & what did I see...

(Joyland is an amusement park here in Lubbock)
Posted by: Rhapsody

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/20/02 07:32 PM

 Quote:
Originally posted by John:

(sorry, Rhaps......the devil made me do it)


The devil, you say?!?
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 04/24/02 02:52 PM

Great music's as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves.

--Sting
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 06/05/02 10:02 AM

I read the following in this month's issue of the Reader's Digest, & thought how great it is that we piano teachers try to make our student evaluations positive!

...comments, purported to be taken from actual federal employee evaluations:

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"Works well under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap."

"Sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
Posted by: John

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 06/07/02 09:29 PM

A maxim for us all...

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the very best."

Henry Van ****
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 08/30/02 11:45 AM

"I know the secret to my happiness -- it's self-indulgence! Sound selfish? Not in the least bit! My father-in-law has told me many times that people who follow their passions will find happiness and success. My friend, Sheila Vail, president of Ohio Music Teachers Association Southwest District, says when you only accept the students you like to teach, other similar students will lineup. I always thought this was selfish, but now I'm not so sure. Why not give the best of what you do to people who want it?"

--Dr. Michelle Conda

(Dr. Michelle Conda is Associate Professor of Piano and Coordinator of Secondary Piano and Piano Pedagogy at the Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music. She was a student of Jane Magrath and Dr. E. I. Lancaster during her Ph.D. program at the University of Oklahoma.)

Source: Keyboard Companion, Volume 13, Number 3, Autumn 2002

[ 08-30-2002: Message edited by: Jalapeño ]
Posted by: Jalapeño

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 09/11/02 07:19 AM

Quote for Today, 9/11:

"When in despair I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won; there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall." - M.K. Gandhi
Posted by: Eric

Re: Misc. Quotes (Any Topic) - 09/11/02 09:23 AM

Thank you for the beautiful quote, Jalapeno. This is a day where we need to hold on to Ghandi's idea and do all we can to make it manifest. Thanks again!